SPATTERING WORDS OV DESPAIR
WROTE AS IT WAS HEARD.
"FORBIDDEN, FORGOTTEN LINEAR NOTES. I SAW THY INTENTIONS, ALL FAILED AND TURNED TO MUD UNDER THOSE BRIDGES LONG AGO RUINED, FOREVER DESTROYED, WILL NEVER BE REBUILT AGAIN. THERE IS NOTHING IN TOMORROW.
NOTHING TO SEE TOMORROW, NOTHING TO WAIT FOR. TOMORROW PROMISES NOTHING FOR THEE. NO BETTER LIFE IS COMING. WORSENING CONDITIONS THEMSELVETH. ALL THAT COULD HAVE BEEN SAID HATH BEEN ALREADY SAID.
BLENDED TOGETHER PROMISES, SCUM. DECEIVED. DECEIVED FOR LIFE. THERE WILL NOT BE ANY BETTER LIFE. THERE WILL BE NO LIBERATION. TO THY LINEAR NOTES I GAVE BIRTH. I LEFT THEM FOR THEE TO DISCOVER AND REMEMBER.
THIS IS NOT THEE WAY OV BECOMING. PLEASE REMOVE IT. HELP ME TO BECOME. HELP ME TO GET WHAT I DESIRE. HELP ME TO TRANSFORM INTO WHAT I DESIRE. I DESIRE. THEE IDEA OF DESIRE. SPITTING WITH WORDS. SPITTING WITH MEANINGLESSNESS.
FORGIVE THESE SENTENCES. FORGIVE THEE WRITER WHO WROTE THESE MEANINGLESS STORIES OV LIVES ON THEE COLDEST EARTH. ABOVE THEE HEIGHT. THEE CORRECTION OV IMPERFECTIONS AND LINES OV UGLINESS. THEE IMPOSSIBILITY TO CORRECT THEE IMITATIVE LINES OV UGLINESS.
SCATTERING WORDS OV DESPAIR. THEE PROCESS OV RE-HOPE. BLESS ME FOR THEE LAST TIME. FOR THEE LAST TIME, I WILL BLESS MYSELF. FOR I HAVE CURSED MYSELF MANY TIMES BEFORE. ALL OV IT BROUGHT UGLINESS AND FEAR TENDENCIES ANYTIME I PERFORMED WHAT WAS INTENDED.
TO BE AFRAID OV THEE ABSENCE OV THEE ABILITY TO BE AFRAID. TO BE AFRAID OV THEE FACT THAT I HAVE NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OV. A JOKE. A STRANGE LOOK. A STRANGER'S PERZPECTIVE. BLESS THIS BODY OV AN EMPTY IDEA OV HOPELESSNESS AND SILLINESS.
BLESS AND FORGIVE THEE MUTE IDEAS. THEE NEXT REBIRTH OV THIS EARTH IS NOT FOR ME. THE WISH TO OVERCOME. TO OVERSTEP. TO TRANSCEND BEYOND. A PRIMITIVE IDEA. LONG AGO RINSED OUT AND SPAT OUT, AGAIN IT TORMENTS ME. DELIVERS THEE TORTURE TO ME.
PLEASE BE MY OPEN WINDOW. PLEASE BE THEE KEY OV INNOCENCE. PLEASE BE THEE LAST THOUGHT BEFORE THEE END. PLEASE BE THEE LAST TRULY LIVING MIND. PLEASE BE IT FOR ME. FOR I HAVE NOTHING ELSE, NOT EVEN MYSELF. NO SHADOWS, NO REFLECTIONS.
BEING ALIVE FOR THEE SAKE OV BEING ALIVE. BEING SURE FOR THEE SAKE OV BEING SURE. WITH NOTHING FOR THEE FUTURE. OR FOR THEE FUTURE PERZPECTIVE. OR FOR MY PERSPECTIVE OV THEE FUTURE PERZPECTIVE WITH VARIOUS ANGLEZ OV PAZT TIMES.
LOVING TO LIE FOR THEE SAKE OF IT. I DO NOT OWN. I DO NOT KNOW. IF I SHOW MYSELF HOW TO KNOW, ALL MY GAMES WILL END. SEVEN PROMISES, AND ALL OV THEM WERE MISSED. SUDDENLY GONE. OH NO, NOT MY FAULT. NEVER MY FAULT.
IT IS CHEAP. IT IS FREE. FREE TO ABUZE. FREE TO HUMILIATE. FREE TO LAUGH AND SPIT. NO RELEVANT IDEAS ARE POSSIBLE IN TODAY'S CONDITION OV ANY BODY. AND NO LIVING CREATURE HATH ANY RIGHT. I BEG MYSELF TO FORGIVE THESE LINES OV POINTLESS TIMEWASTE.
I BEG MYSELF TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR A WASTED LIFE. I BEG MYSELF TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR WASTED OPPORTUNITIES. I BEG MYSELF TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THEE ENDLESS DECOMPOZITION THAT NEVER REACHETH ITS FINAL POINT. I BEG MYSELF TO STOP. I BEG THEE TO STOP.
NOTHING IN BETWEEN, NOTHING IN BETWEEN. POISONOUS AND STERILIZED. NOTHING EXCEPT AN EXCEPTION. "THIS KEY I RECEIVED FROM MY LAST INCARNATION". IT TOLD ME A LOT OF THINGS. NONE OF WHAT HATH BEEN TOLD I CAN RECALL. THUS, TURNS OUT THAT I AM A LIAR.
BUT THOSE BLIND CREATURES WILL NEVER STEP ABOVE. THOSE ARE FOREVER NAILED TO THEE EARTH. NOT FOR THEE SAKE OV AN IMPREGNABLE IMPRESSION. EVERYTHING IS SOMEHOW OPENLY DAMAGED, DISEASED, AND UNASHAMED OV ITS STATE. NOT ASHAMED TO EXPOSE ITZ SCARZ & WOUNDZ.
I AM NEVER AFRAID TO EXPRESS THEE INEVITABLE. I AM NEVER AFRAID TO PREDICT THEE INEVITABLE. SO THOU SHALT NEVER BE AFRAID AND NEVER ASK QUESTIONS. ASK NEITHER A STRANGER NOR A RELATIVE. SEEK BY THYSELF. DISCOVER FOR THYSELF. FORTIFY AND UNDERSTAND IT.
THEE RATTLING FUTURE OV THINE IS FULL OV HORRIBLE AND SHOCKING EVENTS, RADICAL CHANGES. NOT FOR THEE GOOD. NOT FOR THEE BETTER. BUT FOR THEE SAKE OV TOTAL DEANIMATIZATION. FOR THEE SAKE OV TOTAL DEPRIMITIVIZATION. EVERYTHING WILL GO EVEN LOWER. NOT EVEN INSECTS.
THESE ARE THEE MOST RIGHT WORDS TO SAY AT THIS TIME. FOR THEY ARE PURE AND ARE THEE EMBODIMENT OF ALL THEE IDEAS THAT WILL FACE EXTINCTION. FOR THERE WILL BE NO HUMAN BEINGS. FOR THERE WILL BE NO LIVING MINDS. THERE WILL BE NO PROPER BODIES THAT ARE ABLE TO CARRY THESE IDEAS.
RADICALIZATION ALWAYS WORKS BOTH WAYS. JUST A GOD PLAYS FOOLISHNESS, TRAGEDIES, AND REVELATIONS.".
DINOYA 28/2/23 2/28/23
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